Jealous, My Love?

Today, I'm co-blogging with my friend gordo. If you haven't checked out his blogs, you're missing out. Anyway, I referred to his blog a few weeks ago about people in relationships having friends of the opposite gender, which also touched on the subject of Jealousy. The other day, he mentioned Jealousy again, so I thought we could get a little discussion going. I haven't read gordo's portion before writing mine, so we'll see how they compare.

The whole concept of Jealousy brings about an anxious feeling for me. I don't think it's a bad thing to feel a hint of jealousy, but then let it drop. A hint of jealousy is a little flattering, almost, but I've been in relationships with jealous men, & it's no picnic. It evolves into such a stifling, smothering relationship.

Let's be honest. Unless you live in a cave, you're still going to interact with the opposite sex at some point. Just because you come in contact with them, however, or become friends, doesn't mean you'll end up in the sack, or even want to. But that leads us back to the last blog, about platonic friends, & whether it's possible.

I used to think that I'd be able to tell my significant other anything since I usually consider him as my closest friend, but I think some things are better left unsaid. Now I don't think it's necessary to tell the other person every little tidbit of conversation you have with anyone else. Perhaps I've learned to be cautious, perhaps I'm just skittish about anything that could bring about jealous behavior. You almost get defensive, anticipating a jealous reaction, when there isn't anything going on that you would need to be defensive over. You don't WANT to hold things back, but you get tired of fighting pointless fights.

Okay, now for what gordo has to say:

gordo


Until the right woman comes and proves me wrong, I will say that all woman, small, big, fat, ugly, or tall, have the ability to run game and they can do it well. A woman, and to be fair, also a man will always try to push the envelope to see what they can get away with. They will see if they could hoodwink someone or the other into believe their bs when it fact they know what they are doing. With regards to jealousy, a woman will test a man to see if he either is filled with jealous rage or that he has an inch of care in his body for her.

A little bit of jealousy shows that you care, however, too much, jealousy shows that you have a possible problem. Felonies can occur, when too much jealousy exist, for example:
• Stalking
• Domestic violence
• Murder
• Suicide

Jealousy is a human feeling that sometimes though, can't be escaped. Sometimes your significant other will do something that is so outrageous, that you can't help, but to get jealous. I think that all to do with playing games within the relationship. Playing games is something that some individuals do very well, whether it be a man or woman. Just as a measure to control the game playing, I personally believe that a little bit of jealousy is okay, when correctly applied.

When two people get into a relationship, it is imperative that both parties be on the same level of thinking and understanding. Both parties wants, needs and desires have to be in synch. Being honest about each others position in the relationship is of ultimate importance, otherwise jealousy will come to seek kill and destroy that relationship.

I was recently in a relationship where I was not really into the person. She was all romantic, lovey and dovey and I was trying to find the best way to rid myself of this person. I know, I could have just told her the truth but I didn't want to wreck the friendship. I might as well say, that I was using her, for we had started dating, right after I came out of a long term relationship. She was sort of a rebound thing, we would go out and do what a couple would do, but I wasn't really feeling this girl. During this relationship though, you would see me treating other females better than I was treating her, and basically disregarding her feelings. In that situation, it's a sure definite that jealousy would erupt.

I have a friend, who is dating this guy, he had recently told her that she is an emotional scumbag. All she does is let her emotions fly all over the place. Meanwhile, he is playing these mind games with her. You can 't call someone emotional, if you are playing with their emotions that just does not work.

Big time jealousy will come about, when your significant other is not in the know about important to the relationship. Actually I'm going to make an amendment here….. There are certain things that your partner does not need to know, because you are thus setting your relationship up for failure. Get real, you wouldn't walk into a police station and admit to the detectives that you are selling drugs. Now would you? Jealousy is a hard pill to swallow, it will have you staying up all night or will get you into a situation where you don't need to be. No one in a relationship likes to be put second place, and if they tell you differently, run away from them, you will be setting yourself up for hurt. Just ask yourself, when doing stuff in your relationship, how would I feel if I was on the other side of the fence? Would I approve of what I'm doing?


Alright, readers....an opinion from each side. Now for your thoughts...should you avoid the stupid fights, or be totally honest no matter what?