October isn't JUST a pink month...

I had completely forgotten, until this morning, that this month isn't just about Breast Cancer Awareness. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Actually, I had posted a blog last year, coincidentally on the same date, that some of you "old-timers" may have read.

When I posted this last year, I didn't know that at the time, a dear friend of one of MY Myspace friends was lying in the hospital trying to recover from being a victim of domestic violence. She wasn't lucky enough to make it, leaving behind two small children. I'm hoping her husband has been locked up for good by now. Domestic violence is closer to home than we think, & it's serious.

"The feature story in our local newspaper the other day (2006) was an article about domestic violence. I wasn't aware that the month of October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This article was basically about the shelters available, but it did bring up a good point..."The abuser has control over the money or a car....This is the control factor."

My friend, Cherie Amour wrote a great blog that you need to check out (actually, read more than just this one, she's a great writer), but I wanted to quote her comment here, because it is just great advice:

"One thing that I have learned: I don't have to accept unacceptable behavior from a man that demeans me just to make a relationship work or to hold on to him and keep him happy...and I'm not willing to sell my soul for the relationship, or give 90 percent while he gives 10 per cent. My happiness matters too, and no relationship is worth suffering through or losing your self-esteem or sanity over. I've learned that I don't need a man to "complete" me and that I'm not a "loser" when not in a relationship.""

Women that are in these relationships will make excuses & blame themselves. Especially when the abuser turns on the charm afterwards, proclaiming to be sorry, promising it won't happen again. Friends & family become frustrated trying to "help" & offer advice, because the women won't listen. It's something that has to come from within. They need to realize for themselves that they just aren't going to tolerate it anymore. As one of my friends always says, you have to love yourself before you can have a healthy relationship.

We teach others how to treat us....does that make sense? The longer we tolerate behavior, the longer it will go on, because we send the message that it's okay to treat us like that, and that we'll tolerate it.

I don't plan on sounding like I'm preaching. I just wanted to bring the subject to the forefront. I just can't express enough the seriousness of Domestic Violence. It truly CAN be a matter of life & death, & God forbid if there are children involved, because I can't imagine how they would feel to lose their mother to the hands of their father. Better to be separated, than orphaned. Yes, it's a grave matter.