Playing Devil's Advocate

My friend, Logical Psycho, wrote a blog recently on trust in a relationship. He had a lot of great comments on there. Some say the trust can never be repaired, some say forgive & forget.

I'll quote one comment, because it's one of the ones that have inspired this blog.

"Once you break that trust, to move forward, knowing deep down its still there, is hard to ignore."

I realize that this was written in interest of a person whose trust had been broken. However, I'll play Devil's Advocate, only because I've been on the other side of the coin, whether warranted or not. Unwarranted is even worse, I think, but the end result to the relationship is almost always the same.

The person who "forgives & forgets" doesn't really forget. They just temporarily bury it, & maintain thoughts of skepticism at every turn. Do they really forgive? I don't know. I think they make the effort, though.

However, when you are the person that another mistrusts, or distrusts, (even without just cause) you change too. You know that at every turn there's a possibility that you will be mistrusted, or distrusted. You walk on eggshells, for fear the possibility of that loss of trust will rise up again. You change in how you relate to others. The only problem is, when you change, you aren't the same person they chose to have the relationship with then, are you?

So tell me........if the incident of distrust cannot be truly forgotten, how can the relationship move forward in a healthy manner? Is it doomed for failure, or can it be salvaged?